Discipline

These past couple weeks, I've been a terrible disciplinarian. Terrible. Not that my recorder class has ever been well behaved, but even my freshmen are walking all over me, and I've done nothing to stop it. This morning in biology, I don't think there was ever more than 2 seconds worth of quiet, and if those two seconds existed, I missed them. It was bad.

I'm sure that my lack of control of the classroom stems from several things, but one of them is the feeling of inadequacy. How am I supposed to stand up in front of a class of over 20 children and command their attention if I don't feel like I have anything worthwhile to say to them? Part of the problem is the planning. Finishing my powerpoint the night before I present it doesn't do much to inspire confidence. The other problem is in the word feel. I feel inadequate, and I don't feel like I have anything worthwhile to say. There's a stark contrast between what I feel, and what I know to be true. If I've learned anything in the past few years, it's that feelings come and go, but God remains constant. Isaiah (currently my favorite book of the Bible) gives me so much hope, "The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God stands forever." (40:8)
Today, I may not know how to be a great disciplinarian, but I do know that I am God's, He has chosen me, and He will not cast me away. (41:9)

"For I, the Lord your God, will hold your right hand, Saying to you, 'Fear not, I will help you.'" (41:13)