Mt Kenya, Camp, and Mistakes

Recently, my mind has been stuck on decisions. And not just any decisions. Big ones. Or at least decisions that seem to be looming large on the horizon at the moment. I've been thinking and processing, but I've not been coming up with many answers.

Do I really want to climb Mt. Kenya with the school next week? I already skipped the last prep hike. I'm pretty sure I'm crazy... Spending my last three sundays hiking for a trip that now I'm not planning on taking. And maybe I am crazy, but maybe I'm not as crazy as I seem. Is life really about the destination? There's something to be said about goals and working towards them, but there's also something to be said about the journey, the climb itself. Whether or not I end up hiking to the top of Mt. Kenya this week, and regardless of how high I get on that mountain in my lifetime, I know that climbing Mt Longonot was not a waste. And even if I never use the training I received on the Ngong hills, I know I still made it to the top. Twice. And that is enough.

Do I really want to work at a brand new summer camp? Do I really want to spend my summer making (or possibly not making) new friends who I might never see again? Do I really want to learn a whole new camp system full of new rules and different expectations? Do I really want to find another option? It's one thing to sit comfortably behind your tumblr account re-blogging well designed inspirational quotes, but it's a completely different thing to actually reply to the email sitting patiently in your inbox. To take a step forward into the unknown. So, here I am. Googling flights to California.

I may not make the smartest decisions, and I have my fair share of regrets, but even in the mistakes and wrong turns there are lessons and joys. Who says that life is all about the destination or the major milestones along the way. The best moments rarely occur at major intersections, because of incredible decision making skills, or when we feel the safest. The best moments come about because of decisions that are made on shaky ground, when you hold your breath as you step out into uncertainty. It's those decisions that lead people to take last minute trips to foreign countries, give up once in a lifetime opportunities, and fly across the country on a single recommendation. I'm still scared stiff as I look at the decisions looming before me, but I'm still moving forward and that's the exciting part.